Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Frustated. I'd give anything just for people to care!





I've graduated on doing
community involvement work and all that

Words coming out from a friend when I asked him to join Amnesty International. It never fails to amaze me how easy it is for people to brush off something that could have given a big effect on both their lives and others. On how easy it is to say yes to have a one night stand or whatever compared to giving just 5 minutes of your time per week. Yes, you can do things in AI with just 5 minutes of your time. You can boast to other people that you gave your freakin precious 5 minutes of your time for the rest of the suffering people in Iraq or Zimbabwe.


But nooooo.. Rarely do people want to help. It's a dog eats dog world out there. Sheesh. No wonder suicide rates are so high now..

Which reminds me of what Aneil, the AI London Director for membership and mobilization said last Annual General Assembly of AI in Manila:

Why do we brush our teeth? We don't ask ourselves that. We just do it. It's something that is inherent to people. They want to look good, to feel good, to be presentable to the rest of the human race. The average person brushes his/her teeth for about three minutes.. So in a month that's about 1 hour you spend brushing your teeth. And in a year, combine all the minutes and the hours, that's probably a day. Imagine for one year, you spent an entire day just brushing your teeth...

Now, imagine the last time you saved a life. Or you cared for someone in your community. Or was concerned for someone whose rights were stepped upon in China or Zimbabwe or anywhere in the world. When was the last time? In AI, you can spend 5 minutes of your time sending a formatted message to certain public officials whose attention should be grabbed. Saying that somebody is watching at them. That they won't easily get away with the violations they've made.


Aneil really touched me with his message and despite the pessimism this world has to offer, I'll still continue this! I just hope people would rather spend 5 minutes of their time saving a life than brushing their teeth.

81st Republic, Zamboanga City




In the hustle and bustle of Chavacano and Tagalog speaking people of Zamboanga city comes a "virgin" and still to be explored place. A place where people come to dine on exquisite and creative dishes solely made and concocted by the owners of 81ST REPUBLIC.

81st Republic is located inside the Catribo Complex of Buenavista St., Zamboanga City. It's a cozy place that really has a "buenvenidos" feel to it. Right now, the place boasts of its uber summer theme festival that makes you wanna dance to the tune of DOS FUERTES (these guys, rock!!!!!!!. And the amazement doesn't just stop there, the food man.. the food! you'll stop being anorexic right away when you taste their embolbido and shakes.. aaaccckk.. I still dream of the cheese shake and zambo white... and oh did I mention they have delciously deadly alcoholic drinks too?

The popular ones are named after the owners: Tropic of Honee, Tropic of Mikoy, Tropic of Reagan, and Tropic of Angelo. And I tell you, first time I was whacked off my seat was because of Tropic of Mikoy. I was virtually drifting off to drunken master land by the time the pitcher was in half. I never thought being so drunk could be so... liberating.. haha XD

You would also notice how the PR skills of staff and management are very well developed especially that the place is crawling with capitalistic and very competitive bastards! (oops..sorry..) It's like every customer is treated as if he/she has a sign in his/her forehead that says "Welcome me, i'm filthy rich!"
and get this, I've actually tried to wait on tables and OMG... it was hard. I had to juggle food and "PR/GRO" skills (hahaha.pakshet) at the same time. It was very educational though :p

I only wished that more of these stores sprout all over Mindanao! Especially here in my hometown! With good food, great thinking, and hardwork comes great experience! Viva 81st Republic! I give you two thumbs up! ^__^

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Vagina Monologues 2008


It was held last May 2, 2008 (i know, this post is uber late) and marks the second run in Iligan City in celebration of Women's Month. The Vagina Monologues is a play by feminist Eve Ensler. It talks about different monologues collected all over the world from interviews by Ensler. The pieces can be dead hilarious (like mine) to really moving stories (comfort women).
My piece is entitled "The Vagina Workshop". It talks about a woman coming from a high class in Britain who did not even know that she had a clitoris, much less know where it actually was. It meant to show that women's issues and society's marginalization of them was all encompassing. That even the high and mighty rich people were affected by these issues.

It was really a great experience to be part of a diverse cast and great play. I hope more people would come to see it and realize that it's really not a porn - play (HELL NO!!!!!!! ignorants!). The money raised was donated to the Women's Crisis Center in Iligan City. So the more people who came to watch, the more money we could give and help the center.

People should realize that even if we are in the 21st century there are still crimes predominantly commited to women. We need more action. Each one should help.



Have the balls to act now.

Why we need Amnesty International at home


Amnesty International is a worldwide organization with human rights protection and monitoring as its core purpose. We the members are saddened, angered, and moved to act upon such violations. Whether you have a gay friend who was killed because of his sexual orientation, a brother in Iraq who was tortured, an aunt who got barred in the airport just because she's a muslim, or a classmate who got imprisoned because he believed that government should not have abolished his house without compensation. All of these things are happening now and we need each one of you to act, educate, and be aware of these issues.

AI has a lot of campaigns and activities depending on which local group or country you belong to. Unfortunately, there are not enough groups and members here in the Philippines. I have thought of opening AI Iligan. Just a small group of people doing trainings, kite flying events, concerts, and such to start with. I really hope that people would come and join this cause that concerns everyone of us.

The problem really here in the Philippines (but not exclusively) is that the youth has become apathetic with such causes and would rather indulge in hedonistic activites 100% of their time. Which just makes me cry a bucket per hour.

On an optimisitic note however, this won't stop me from starting this group. I'm willing to shell out my own allowance for the group activities and to get it started (donations are very welcome!!! please!!!!!). I hope to see more people getting involved and therefore getting empowered especially the youth.

Why are artists poor? Because they choose to be

There is a big difference between being poor because well.. you are poor and choosing to be poor. Because frankly, artists are not really that poor. They just simply decided not to exert effort in capatilizing their talents and skills. They (and I..hehe) avoid the money zombie vortex that sucks people off their brains and talents. Instead they focus on their passion and the things that makes you smile before you go to sleep..

In reality and on a personal note, if we really exerted all our talents and creative juices.. dang! all the artists would have been multi - millionaires by now! I remember one time, a painter - friend of mine was asked by a NGO to do some art for a fundraising event. And OMG... his art raised a lot of money for the children with disabilities. Just shows how they can really make money.. There was this other friend of mine who was asked to sell some creative stuff for a conference and the people who will be joining were esteemed people from an international organization. And right again... She raised a lot of money..

So why are some artists still poor?

Hehehe.. well.. in the paradigm of an artists mind comes creativity and laziness. And well, ok.. maybe a bit of luck. But the point is! Artists were never meant to be poor. We just simply choose to make our brand distinct and exercise freedom more often than not :p

Heavy Lessons Learned: Choices

Basically, all the things in the world boils down into just two or three choices which you have to decide. Life would always be unfair. There will always be pain and agony at every corner of that choice. But there's as much joy and happiness there too when the right choice is made. All of us have to accept the undeniable truth that we were not born as fairy godmothers - that is to make everyone happy with the choices we make in this life. There will always be someone whether a friend, a family member, mentor, or your lover who would get hurt by a difficult choice. The thing is, you just have to "see" who deserves to be "not hurt" with your choice. A lesser evil you may say. Example: you both like two subjects and their professors. One professor is especially close to you and is expecting you to enroll at his class but circumstances say that you are more in need and (later find out) that you liked the other subject more. As grueling as the decision may take, you just have to choose one. Yes, the prof might get hurt (a little, considering he is a professional in handling this) but since you have carefully weight things then things will turn out to be ok. Because faith my friend is one thing that keeps this world go round and round.. Stand with your decision. Don't be chicken sht and run away from problems and the decisions that you have to take. Life is a long lesson that will teach us to make every path we step a strong pillar in our lives.

So what the hell am I talking about? About people hurting other people. About making the wrong choices... Dr. Meredith Grey in one time said something which I find really interesting and true..

"We are all damaged. In one way or another. We carry this damage since childhood. And now that we're adults we carefully set on the task on making things right again or at least trying it."

There are many faces of a coward. Not all of them looks like a chicken (pun intended.pnyeta..haha). The cowards I abhor most are the ones who stick to wrong decision simply because they decided na eh. Ayun, final na. Irrevocable daw. Haha.. that's just funny..

I've been through a lot these past months. But I've learned a lot of things.. It's still painful. but i'm trying to live life to the fullest pa rn. Because not all hope is lost. No matter how pathetically stubborn I may seem to most people (oo na po..oo na..) I still believe that all people are born good. A priori kumbaga... and that everyone should have a chance. More people should think like that. Heck, there should me more people like me!!!! haha.. (shut up narccissistic whore, I'm not as hyped up sau. You know who you are. O cge, palaban dira.lol)

After all, not all people who betray are the same. But be more cautious this time.. Because they do have one thing in common.. They betray.. Then again.. Live, love, because life is what we make it. I will make my life, my family, my friends, my "future partner" (hahaha...yeah, after 3 years pa next relationship ko..haha) happy with me. Thanks for all your help guys.. I could not be ok if it were'nt for the counseling sessions.. I owe you big time.. I'm ok now. ^___^ (see the big smile?)


"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun sets in. But when darkness falls, their beauty comes from their light within"


and I have that light within... I am strong.. and I will continue to make this world a beautiful world to live in..

The Summer of my Life

I went to the beautiful city of ZAMBOANGA! and I just really have to say that learning Chavacano (local language) is a real challenge and treat! Chavacano is a pidgmin language of Spanish brought about by their stay here in the Philippines for 300 years

Going back, the city boasts delicious seafoods! and when I say delicious I mean exquisite shrimps, giant crabs, fresh fish and shells! I could not get enough of the food! hehehe.. And with great food comes a great beach.. well actually island. Just off the coast of Zamboanga is a small island named STA. CRUZ.. and did I mention this was a pink beach? The sand is pink!! Something which I believed should be posted in either Ripley's believe it or not, or Guinness World of Records. The sand is pink due to the corals that surround the island. The tidbits of coral structure float across the sea and unto the sand which makes it gleam in the sun.. I was never a fan of the color pink but Sta. Cruz totally changed my mind. Hani and Jason, my best pals in Zamboanga accompanied me to the island and it was virtually all ours for the taking because the local government didn't have enough resources yet to cultivate it to become a tourist spot (but I totally agree that it's a good thing.hehe)


Zamboanga, is a great place that everybody should visit whenever they can! Great food, great beach, and of course great people! =)

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.. Well, what about a slideshow? :p


Create Your Own

To the human cause!

It seems like the society I live in today is quite apathetic about human rights violations, poverty, soaring gas prices, violence on women and so many more. Some just simply live on. Living for themselves and not giving a damn thing about the world..

Which is ironic really, because we all live in the same planet, breathe the same air, eat almost the same kinds of food.. Each of us has a 99.9% similarity with each other!! And yet, the question still remains unanswered like a one big piece of feces that people avoid stepping into:

WHY DON'T WE CARE FOR EACH OTHER?eren't born to r mass executions. But just because you don't see it happening right in front ofe-up and crap like there's no tomorrow. -_-

A Psychoanalytic Approach to Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness"


As one of the first novelists of the modernist movement, ambiguity and complexity were techniques used extensively by Conrad. The title of Heart of Darkness then is both an explicit enigma and a medium by which Conrad explores the human mind and behavior. The phrase “heart of darkness” itself is a recurring motif and used in such a way that the reader feels as if he is being guided to a place of self – actualization. The journey to the heart of darkness is an exploration into the human consciousness, and the culminating experience is the realization of the pervasiveness of our unconscious desires.

Conrad and Freud were both pioneers in stressing the irrational elements in human behavior which resisted orthodox interpretation. One of Conrad’s great contribution is exposing the nightmarish qualities of irrational politics which depend on the neurosis of a leader (i.e. Kurtz), in turn upon the collective neuroses of a people (i.e. the Europeans). This irrationality is best seen in the story on Kurtz’s greed for ivory. It is an object for the rich and hardly necessary for physical or mental survival. Such an insight is timeless, we ask ourselves, for when has human race carefully preserve life while also squandering it so carelessly? Conrad not only caught the hypocrisy of the conquerors in the story but also the “dark” side of nature in human behavior which tries to justify itself, only to surrender to explosive inner needs. These are the same material that Freud was concerned of. To analyze the seemingly illogic, the apparent irrationality of dreams, etc. Conrad and Freud both wanted to penetrate into the “darkness”. The state wherein people are free to pursue they’re deepest desires. Whether in sleep or like Kurtz and his followers- reality.

Marlow is a man of order and moral courage. He looks upon the world’s work as simply just and fundamentally good as long as it is done by civilized men (the white man’s burden). For example, he never asks why white men should be in
Congoor whether they should be there in the first place. He just assumes that they should be as bringers of civilization. But the great revelation took place when he sees and thrown into a world that is of chaos, “unspeakable rites”, inexplicable. A law – abiding man thrown into a chaotic world. In contrast, Kurtz is as much as an inner embodiment of Marlow. He is an “apparition” and a “shadow” which can be read as him being a part of Marlow’s psyche. Kurtz is the monumental testament to western colonialism. The desire to rise at everyone’s expense, the manipulation of people for selfish ends, the obsession for image and personal power. This and the various inner desires, he makes the id of Marlow’s mind. The id/Kurtz is the representation of Marlow’s impulses and beliefs that he dared not follow and suppresses it.
The idea of restraint is very evident in the passage describing the restraint of the cannibals. Marlow “would just as soon have expected restraint from a pack of hyena prowling amongst the corpse in a battlefield.” They are able to withstand the “devilry of lingering starvation, its exasperating torment, its black thoughts, its somber and throbbing ferocity,” They do so and Marlow cannot begin to understand why. These cannibals exercised restraint even the most desperate circumstance involving the most basic human need – food. These “cannibals” (if they were really) must choose between the restraints of civilization and the natural desire to feed themselves, and the reader will wonder why they choose the former. It is then quite absurd. The world is absurd and ironic as Kurtz choose not to restrain himself to something that is entirely pointless. Traditionally, beauty for the few is gained with blood of the many (e.g. the creation of pyramids involved the slaving and deaths of many Jews). The absence of social morality is equated to the nonexistence of Kurtz’s superego.

Marlow had plunged into the depths of his soul and seen a glimpsed truth. He had not only discovered himself but also “all the hearts that beat in the darkness” – what he saw is universal. He had identified the source of darkness in himself and in the consciousness of his civilization; and at that moment finding for the first time the heart of darkness.
Marlow’s discovery of the heart of darkness gave “light” on his life and the title illuminates the story for the readers. Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness is a powerful exploration into the complex unconsciousness of the human mind.

A Deconstructive Approach: On Kate Chopin’s “Story of an Hour” and Yannis Kitsos’ “Penelope’s Despair”

A Deconstructive Approach: On Kate Chopin’s “Story of an Hour” and Yannis Kitsos’ “Penelope’s Despair”

“The Story of an Hour”

Derrida’s deconstruction states that the meaning of the story/text includes what is left out of the text or ignored or silenced by it. Because deconstruction is an attack on the very existence of theories and conceptual systems, its exposition by Derrida and others purposely resists logical definitions and explanations, opting instead for linear presentations based on extensive wordplay and puns. Therefore, the text may offer several interpretations that are also valid and it is the reader’s task to analyze then the elements into which there may be subtle or explicit connotations/denotations.
Extending the philosophical excursions of Nietzsche and Heidegger, Derrida criticized the entire tradition of Western philosophy’s search to discover the essential structure of knowledge and reality, ultimately confronting the limits of human thought.. Derrida criticized the entire tradition of Western philosophy’s search to discover the essential structure of knowledge and reality, ultimately confronting the limits of human thought. As an extension of his theory of logocentrism, Derrida posited that all texts are based on hierarchical dualisms (e.g., being/nonbeing, reality/appearance, male/female), where the first element is regarded as stronger and thus essentially true and that all systems of thought have an assumed center, or Archimedean point, upon which they are based. In a deconstructionist reading, this unconscious and unarticulated point is revealed, and in this revelation the binary structure upon which the text rests is imploded. Thus what appears stable and logical is revealed to be illogical and paradoxical, and interpretation is by its very nature misinterpretation.
One of the themes that the story evokes is freedom which has conditional meanings situated at the various parts of the story. Kate Chopin suggests that in certain situations, the death of a loved one may be a blessing. Such situations may include an abusive relationship, or an unhappy marriage, as this story suggests. In Chopin's story although the circumstances might lead the reader to believe that Louise's husband's death would cause her great pain, ironically, when she hears the news, she feels a great sense of relief. This suggests that death may not always cause grief. Louise's characteristics add to the theme of this story in several ways. One of her characteristics is her youth. This characteristic is important because it is symbolic of a fresh, new start at her life of freedom due to the death of her husband. She has her whole life to live by herself. She will be free to do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it. There are a lot of symbols/lines that allude to the element of freedom in this story thereby greatly emphasizing the “privileged” status that has just been given to her. The spring day symbolizes a new beginning of her life in which she is free. Spring is the time when living things propagate and are reborn. Likewise, Louise believes she will become productive, energized and reborn. Louise has her whole life of freedom to look forward to. A second symbol is the open window in her bedroom. The window suggests that there is no material object standing in the way of her new life. There is a clear passage between her life of captivity to her life of freedom. Her husband was the only person holding her back, but now that he's gone, she's able to look forward to the future when she can live her life for herself. It should especially be noted that the place of women at these times were quite strict and confined almost always to that of a housewife. The explicit emphasis on freedom then is a repression which Louise (or Kate Chopin for that matter) wants to fulfill.
One of the important binary opposites then that we may encounter and analyze is the opposition of marriage – freedom in the story. Louise struggled with her feelings about her marriage for years. Louise thinks "what could love, the unsolved mystery, count for in face of this possession of self-assertion which she suddenly recognized as the strongest impulse of her being." She admits that she did love Brently, but often she did not. On the other hand, the story suggests that Brently was completely content in the marriage and assumed that Louise was too. This conflict is reflected in Louise's internal struggle. When she realizes that Brently is alive, she must die. This is the only way she can win the freedom she was struggling for within herself. She dies because he is alive, he is ultimately responsible for her death. With all of the exposition of personality and character of Louise we can surmise that marriage was something that wasn’t that of a necessity for her or at least not at that point or perhaps if she were to give up her treasured freedom it should be for someone who she truly loves “most of the time” (as oppose to her love for Brently which was not often applicable). His death therefore had stimulated a gradual change from a repressed individual not realizing her husband has caused her to feel repression in the first place, to a person who is greiving over her husband who has kept her restrained from things she didnt know she could be doing. Mrs. Mallard started to realize that she had to start living life her way, instead of behind Mr. Mallard's shadow. One passage that concretizes this element is Chopin’s usage of a simile describing Louise as a “goddess of victory” which states how she over came the greif and repression of her husband.
This representation lead us then to another important conflict and opposition thread – surface appearance and reality. To all people it would appear that Louise would grieve over Brently since they would assume she was happily married and content in her sub-serviant role as a housewife. Louise's sister Josephine exemplifies such a judgment of how Louise's reaction to the sudden death of her husband Brently. Josephine misinterprets Louise's behavior, thinking she is hysterical over Brently's death. She pleads, "Louise, open the door! I beg; open the door-you will make yourself ill." To Josephine, Louise appears to be heart-broken, but in reality, Louise is relieved by his death. I think also, the title itself takes part on this conflict because it says that this story must have occurred within an hour but Chopin made it seem like it was a few days at least. This is ironic because Mrs. Mallard only needed an hour to realize that she didn't need her husband to be happy, whereas it would take another wife, maybe a few years to fully recover from a spouse's death. The doctor's judgment of how Louise dies also deals with the appearance versus reality conflict. For example, the doctor predicts that Louise died from the "joy that kills," believing she was so overcome by the joy of seeing her husband alive, she is physically incapable of dealing with such a strong emotion of joy. But she actually dies because her free life has come to a sudden stop, And is heart-broken that she will not be able to live her life as she hoped she could, alone.

“Penelope’s Despair”

Penelope as seen in the Odyssey is the wife of Odysseus and mother of Telemachus. Penelope spends her days in the palace pining for the husband who left for
Troytwenty years earlier and never returned. Homer portrays her as sometimes flighty and excitable but also clever and steadfastly true to her husband.
In this poem, we see it in her point of view. The poem has striking similarities towards the treatment of freedom, marriage, role of wife, and what not as in “The Story of an Hour”. It details the feelings and anxieties of Penelope’s “despair” not because of the waiting for her husband but the realization that he is still alive and he comes back. Contextualizing it in the story and not the prototypical Penelope “faithfulness” it can be surmised that the dread was actually knowing that she is still tied to her marriage and commitment. Just the same dread that Louise Millard felt when she found out that her husband is still very alive and well.
After all, who’s to say that being chased upon and waited by countless suitors is not a wondrous thing to feel and experience (I think it’s every woman’s fantasy). Ergo, it can be said that all the waiting wasn’t in despair at all because she had time for herself, some satisfaction, and even some sort of ego- boosting and fulfillment of affection. Things that her husband wasn’t able to do because of his own adventures. Surface Appearance then tells us that she was patiently waiting for the return of Oddyseus but is very possible that she is also enjoing every minute of her freedom while he is gone. To be chased upon by countless admirers who are also very patient with her.
It wasn’t a romantic happy startle that was depicted in the poem when she saw her. It’s the kind of look that something you’ve waited for and amidst hoping that will never come true has suddenly been realized and you can’t do anything about it. No amount of praying or whatsoever action can stop what happened or what’s inevitable. I think that’s what Penelope felt. The dread of seeing him. Not because she could not recognize her anymore, in fact she knew his face and features all too well.
We can see then that all the “bright red thread in green foliage” turned “ashen and black” which means internal and even perhaps to some extent an external perception of death and sadness. Bright colors such as red and green turned to the color of the dead - it’s as if she saw a ghost who came to haunt her. Indeed that is what happened, perhaps for her, Odysseus was long dead and never to return again but since he has come back then she has to go to her “final enduring”.